I have a new game. I'm calling it "Let's See How Long it Takes for the Cleaning Crew to Vacuum up this Dead Bug That's Been Here for About 3 Weeks Now." Here's the bug:
On Thursday it was still in one piece. I guess someone stepped on it between then and now. My guess is that now it's even less likely to get vacuumed up. I'll keep you posted. Since I know you'll be wondering. You know you will.
I get a lot of complaints about the cleaning crew here. Apparently the mirrors are always nasty, the floor in the group exercise room is always filthy, and the showers are hellacious. I'm not sure what this cleaning crew actually cleans, since they're not supposed to touch the equipment. I came in one morning and found a walkie talkie on one of the treadmills. I called security, figuring it was one of theirs. The security guy (I don't know his official title) came in and got a piece of paper and actually started interviewing me about this Walkie Talkie.
Security Guy: What time did you come in this morning?
Me: A few minutes before 6.
Security Guy: Where was the walkie talkie?
Me: On that treadmill over there.
Security Guy: Was anything else out of place?
Me: No.
Security Guy: Where on the treadmill was it?
Me: (Seriously??) On the bottom next to the belt.
Security Guy: Was the treadmill on or off?
Me: I think it was off.
That's it. He was acting like a serious federal offense had just been committed. I kept asking if it was a security guard's walkie talkie. I was picturing someone in here making the rounds when all of a sudden a masked ninja jumps out from behind the rowing machine and tackles the security guard to the ground. The security guard attempts to call for help but the ninja rips the walkie talkie from his hand and throws it out of reach. The ninja swiftly kills the guard with a sword hand to the jugular, devours his remains then leaps out of the fitness center to report success to the mack daddy ninja and celebrate with a milkshake, stupidly leaving behind the forgotten walkie talkie as evidence of his existence. Security Guy eventually told me it's more likely someone on the cleaning crew left it. BORING! I was kind of disappointed in the lack of excitement his scenario offered. I liked my version much better.
2 comments:
Was it Reshawn? He's the security guard that always says in a militaristic method, "Good morning, sir." when I walk in. I reply, "Good morning, Shawn. How's it going?" He then flips over to homie style and says, "Hey, dog! Whaz happinin' man?!!!"
No it wasn't but that would have made for a much more exciting interview.
Post a Comment