A Little Advice

I'm in the unique position at work where, of the three people that staff my fitness center, I'm the only girl. Usually I love this. Personally, I think I get along better with guys anyway, and I like being the only one who can offer classes like step, and so on. I'm a very competitive (read: catty?) person, and being the only girl there takes away a lot of that edge. So usually it's a good thing.

Being the only girl there comes with its advantages and disadvantages. I feel both of my male co-workers are pretty knowledgeable when it comes to general fitness, and I feel they are both pretty approachable, nice guys. Regardless, some girls find that they are more comfortable approaching me with their issues. Just because I'm a girl. I am completely ok with this, don't get me wrong. I think that if I had to have an assessment where my girth measurements are taken, and the person has to pinch the skin above my hip bone in order to get my body fat percentage, there's a very good chance I would prefer a female do that as well.

There's one lady in my gym who always singles me out to ask me questions. And that's fine with me. My beef with her is that she argues my advice. Here's an example. She approached me one day after a step class and asked if step works your calves. Uh...yeah?! My calves were sore for almost an entire week after my first step class...and I'm a runner! She didn't like this. She told me she doesn't want her calves to get bulky. I told her she's probably not genetically engineered to get "bulky" calves and that step's not going to build them up to the point where they're freakishly large, but yes step works pretty much the entire leg.

So then she says again she doesn't want to make her calves big. I wasn't really sure what to say to this, I was feeling like we had just gone through that. I suggested she use only one riser on each side instead of two. She responds that she's not going to get a cardio workout that way. I suggest she discontinue taking step. She said she likes taking it. At this point there was an awkward silence. Am I missing something? Is she expecting me to make it so that step DOESN'T work your calf muscles? Because they didn't teach me that in school. I must have been skipping that day. We had almost the exact same conversation regarding running. Yes, running works your calves. No, there's nothing I can do to help that.

I love helping people out. I feel I can be a good teacher. I'm actually quite patient, and I want my message to get through. If you are willing to learn then I will spend all the time in the world with you so you understand every little iota of information I'm giving out. I will never make you feel stupid for asking and I will never lose my patience with you. But I have no time for the people who ask for my advice then either don't listen or think they know better.

I've had several friends over the years ask me for advice on how to "tone up" or lose weight, or to put an exercise program together for them. I have no problem with this, I like to help my friends out. Some have responded favorably with a sincere thank you and an earnest effort to follow through. Others responded by questioning why I did what I did (which is ok in the right context- I don't blame them for wanting to understand, but the tone of voice that accompanied it didn't really scream desire to learn). Why would you ask me for advice if you don't think I'm qualified enough to know what I'm doing? Were they expecting me to respond by saying "Oh since you're my friend I'll let you in on a little secret- there IS a magic pill! All you have to do is take this twice a day and in a week you'll have 0% body fat and a six-pack and a great healthy tan and good teeth and a full head of hair too! You don't have to work for any of it!"? There are a select few who never even thanked me for the time it took to put their program together, despite several subtle reminders over the course of the 2 days it took me to do it. What the hell? Do they understand that I'm a professional in the field, and that other professionals like myself can charge a significant amount of money for what I just did for them for FREE?

I've worked with doctors, nurses, and physical therapists in the past. The few times I've asked for advice, I listened attentively and followed it. These are people who know what they're doing. I don't have a degree in nursing or PT, or a MD behind my name. Why would I ask them for advice if I wasn't going to believe what they told me? When I was pregnant, I worked in a hospital doing cardiac rehab. During the course of the day I had to visit several units to see my patients. I got plenty of advice that I didn't even ask for! Even then I just listened politely and simply didn't follow it if I didn't agree with it. I never argued with the person giving it to me. What good would that do anyway?

Keep in mind I'm not talking about any type of advice that is life-altering. It's not like I'm telling people to go outside and run 17 miles every day in 100+ degree heat wearing a sweat suit without drinking any water for 2 hours before or after. The advice I'm talking about is related to exercise routines, and there is much variation from trainer to trainer in what a person would get if they asked around. If I heard someone give anyone advice that could potentially hurt them, then I'm the first person who would speak up!

So my advice to you? Keep your mouth shut. If you really want to know what I have to say, then ask me. If you aren't going to like what I tell you, then don't ask me or just thank me for my time and walk away and talk about my ignorance on your own blog.