Here's what happened.
So I'm at work minding my own business, being the model employee that I am, since I don't know how to be any other way. We close at 7:30pm. This means that all members must have showered, dressed, primped, plucked and accessorized in plenty of time to be leaving the center at 7:30pm. This does NOT mean they should be walking into the locker room at 7:30 to take a dump, wash their hands, shine their shoes, then finally leave closer to 8pm. No. At 7:30, my only view of anyone should be of their rear ends walking out the door. Preferably, with me tailgating them as I leave as well.
I'm not sure exactly what time it was when she came in. Maybe 7:10 or 7:15. I know it was somewhere after 7pm because I had already recognized and celebrated that I was in the home stretch. Which is ridiculously late to be just coming in to a fitness center that closes at 7:30. But whatever.
So this lady, let's call her Spawn of Satan, comes in, goes into the locker room to change, then comes out and plops herself on the rowing machine. There were only two other people in the fitness center at this point, and they both left within her first 5 minutes on the rower.
So it's just me and her. This in and of itself kind of pisses me off. It's obvious she's the only thing keeping me there. And while technically she's entitled, if the tables were turned, I would feel bad working out alone and making someone stay solely on my account. But again, technically she's not doing anything wrong, and she is the Spawn of Satan, so I got over myself and just dealt with it.
And she's happily rowing away while the minutes tick by. I'm staring holes through the clock. Finally at around 7:28 I get up from the desk and start turning off equipment. As I approached her, I said as nicely as possible "Not to rush you, but I wanted to make sure you knew that we close in about 2 minutes." I smiled as I said it. I am a nice person and I was being nice. I even hit my head on a television as I said it (by accident, mind you) since I was so focused on sounding nice. Her response?
No I don't have a clock pasted to my forehead so there's no way I would know what time it is.
I was a bit taken aback, to say the least. My first thought was to respond that if there was a clock pasted to her forehead, it would do her no good since she wouldn't be able to see it...pasted to her forehead. I came very close to saying this. Dangerously close, because it would prove her stupidity. And I have decided that she is, in fact, stupid.
But no, I am still the sweet nonthreatening girl at the fitness center so I bit my tongue and didn't reply. After a moment's pause, The Spawn said:
Are you trying to tell me it took me 10 minutes to get here from my desk?
What??!! Where the hell did she get that from? I don't know where her desk is! And to be honest, there are 4 buildings in the campus. If she came from another building, it could very well have taken her 10 minutes to make her way down to the fitness center, change her clothes, file her horns down, tie up her tail and get on the rower.
But regardless-- what a stupid thing to ask me? How does "two minutes until closing time" translate into "it took you 10 minutes to get here you fat slob now get out of my fitness center before I pour some holy water on you"? OK maybe I was actually thinking the last part, but the part about how long it took her to get to the fitness center was completely taken from left field. And she said it accusingly. I actually felt that she was blaming me for the time. Like she didn't believe me when I told her it's 2 minutes to closing time. How could I respond to that? I told her I didn't know about any of that but it's almost 7:30.
So then she mutters some stuff that I didn't catch, and I was too scared to ask her what she said. Plus I honestly didn't care. She was probably blaming me for the weather and yelling at me for asking her to believe it's July. I did catch her saying something about maybe the clocks being fast.
Seriously? Are 2 minutes on the rower really that crucial? I mean I'm all about getting that workout in, and squeezing those last few minutes in, but this is ridiculous. This
Plus she was still going on the rower. Despite my warning, she never even stopped, even though everything was turned off around her except the television right in front of her and the lights.
Finally The Spawn got up and went into the locker room. I turned off the television, and we passed each other as she left the locker room. I smiled and said "have a good night" because, although she had been incredibly rude to me, I didn't say or do anything rude to her. So technically, we were still "cool" in my books because it's not like we had an all-out catfight or anything. I was totally the bigger person and just stood there and took all her crap and her comments went nowhere. So we still could have saved our relationship.
But she ignored me.
Completely and obviously.
That stung a little. Because that was my little last-ditch effort at keeping things on the up and up between us. If she had responded then we would still be cool. I would have chalked up her attitude to her having a bad
By the time she reached the door to leave, I was right behind her. Because I move quickly when it's time to leave work, and obesely ugly Spawns of Satan kind of waddle around slowly. As she passed the computer where people are supposed to log in (which she didn't do, and I know this because I looked it up to see how Satan names his children, and to see what time she came in) she glanced at the clock on the screen and said "mumble mumble mumble, it's 7:27" and walked out.
I was literally 2 feet behind her and as soon as she said it I looked at the screen. It said 7:29. So The Spawn of Satan is a big fat liar (big surprise there). Or she can't read.
In my defense, I did nothing wrong. The clocks that are posted in the fitness center both said 7:30 as she was doing her Walk of Shame from the locker room to the door. OK so maybe they are fast. But either way, the rules state that she needs to be out of there by 7:30. So I gave her a 2-minute warning to make sure that she had collected her stuff and vacated the premises by 7:30.
Which she did. Personally, I think she should be thanking me.
Maybe her dad can hook me up with some prime real estate, since I'll probably be staying with him a while once I've put in my time here.
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