Hairball

It almost happened. I almost felt sorry for you guys. For a minute there, it looked like I was going to go yet another day with nothing to say. And, in some ways, that's not a bad thing. We can all use a relaxing drama-free weekend every now and then. And mine was almost that. But not quite.

It started off as not only a relaxing uneventful weekend, but a lazy one. For the past two days, I considered my family lucky if I changed out of my pajamas before dinner. Yesterday I spent the entire morning vegging on the couch watching E! and wondering why I wasn't sleeping. I actually got offended when around 4:30pm my husband suggested we go for a walk. But I gave in, peeled myself off the couch and went along. About 10 minutes into it I decided I was too tired and it was too hot so I whined until he agreed to turn around and go home.

Yeah, that's pretty much how my weekend's been going so far. Apparently the whole being lazy thing was too much for me to handle because after I put SB to bed last night, I was exhausted! All I wanted to do was take a bath and go to bed.

So I cleaned all SB's toys out of the tub, filled it up and hopped in. I was just getting to that relaxing point where I was channeling that lady from the old Calgon commercials (Calgon, take me away!!) when I noticed something floating around in the tub. It looked like a little brown fuzz ball.

I figured it was a tuft of our chocolate lab's hair. She had just gotten a bath recently so she was shedding all over the place. Don't ask me why she sheds after she has a bath, she just does. And the fur comes off in little tufts. Which is what I assumed I was bathing with.

I picked it up and was about to reach over to throw it in the trash when I realized something wasn't right. It wasn't furry. It was squishy.

I am a smart person but my brain must have been lazy this weekend too. Instead of being a logical adult and assuming that whatever it was, I didn't want it in the bath tub with me, and tossing it out, I decided to play detective and try to figure out what it was. Bad call.

I studied it closely, it looked like dirt. Or mud, I guess. But how was it staying together in this little ball-like formation? And how did it get in my tub? I certainly didn't do anything that would have involved getting muddy, and neither had SB.

Then it hit me. It was poop. I was holding poop in my hands. SB must have let a little out in the tub during her bath and now I was sitting here holding it. I was holding her poop.

At this point, any normal person would have flung the poo as far away as possible and quickly commenced vigorous hand-washing.

Not me. I felt it necessary to smell the poo.

Just to confirm.

Because wouldn't you want to make sure that the squishy wet brown gunk that you're holding in your hand in the bath tub is, in fact, poo? Isn't it of the utmost importance that you confirm what you think is poo....actually is? Heaven forbid I assume I'm holding poo, only to later find out it wasn't poo at all.

Sometimes I wonder how I made it past kindergarten. Hmmm, I'm pretty sure this is poo, but let me just smell it to be sure. Yeah, that's a brilliant mind right there.

Anyway, needless to say, I was right. It was poo. The bath tub has since been bleached and scrubbed. As have I.