Anyway, I couldn't tell you the last time I heard that song. Probably at my senior prom. But for some reason, there it was stuck in my head all morning. Until I finally was able to replace it with Shake, Senora. Remember? From Beetlejuice? Shake your body line, OK, I BELIEVE YOU.
Don't judge me and my obscure musical references.
Well, just like the most random songs can pop into your mind, the most random memories can, as well. In my case, most of these tend to be pretty embarrassing. I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who wrote that book, where time is not a continuous thing, where once the moment is over, it's gone...but kind of more like a million snapshots taken of every moment, just kind of hanging around in space, and you could jump from snapshot to snapshot and bounce around in time. I'm sure I'm not doing his concept justice in that explanation, but it's all I got.
If that were the case, then just about every snapshot of mine could be entered into a YM magazine Say Anything photo competition. And win.
My moment du jour is from my junior or senior year in high school. It was spirit week, where each day had its own fun theme designed to increase school spirit, whatever that was. One day was Pajama Day, there was Yellow and Blue Day (our school colors)...and I can't really remember what else they came up with to try to embarrass us.
This particular moment occurred on Opposite Sex Day. As you can probably gather, on this day, the boys were supposed to dress up like girls, and vice versa. A complete tomboy at heart, I felt this would be very easy for me. I'm not sure why I ever thought anything would be easy for me, because I tend to complicate things.
Instead of raiding my big brother's closet and using things a guy might actually wear, I hit the mall (any excuse at that age!) and bought my outfit. Which consisted of: kahki shorts and a thick black thermal shirt. Apparently, I was not only dressing up as a boy, I was dressing up as an obese boy, because everything I bought was about 4 sizes too large for me.
But here's the best part.
Along with my Obese Man outfit, I bought a pair of blue silk boxers. I'm honestly not sure where I was going with that, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But here's the problem: the shirt was very long. And the shorts were very big. So you couldn't even see the boxers. (Which I wore on top of my own underwear. Because I know you were wondering.) But I went through all the trouble of buying these boxers! People had to know they were there, and I wasn't about to pull my pants down for every person I ran into.
So what did I do? The only thing that made sense. I tucked my shirt into my boxers. Read that sentence again. I tucked my thick long black shirt into my boxers.
I'm sure I don't need to describe to you how utterly and completely RETARDED that looked.
There is actually a photo of that floating around somewhere. Yes, as usual, my stupidity was documented. A snapshot taken to remind me of that brilliant moment in my life, for all of eternity.
I actually looked for it, because I knew you would want to see- if nothing else, to prove to you that someone can actually look that bad on purpose. But I couldn't find it. Hopefully my husband came across it and burned it in fear I would try to emulate that look again. If it turns up, I'll be sure to post it here.
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