Happily Ever After?

I've recently started plugging my iPod into the car for my 5-minute commute to and from work. By the time I get it plugged in and find a song I actually like (how the hell did Sonatina in F Major get on my iPod???), I can usually get about three-quarters of the way through the song before I pull into the garage at work, then about halfway into the next song between work and home.

But nonetheless, it's had an effect on me. I've come to realize 2 things.

1-Listening to music really does affect a person's attitude and outlook. I find myself much peppier after rocking out to one of my favorite songs, or at least most of it, even at 5am as I roll into the fitness center dreading stalling for my workout.

I'm not sure how detailed a view the security cameras at my work get of people in their cars as they drive onto the campus and into the garages, but if it's even remotely clear, I'm sure whichever security guard is on night duty gets a kick out of me doing my little in-the-seat butt dance to Buona Sera as I drive in, with thumbs out, while singing at the top of my lungs, doing my best Louie Prima imitation. If you did a youtube search for "fitness center freak singing and dancing to lame obscure songs" my contorted face would probably pop up.

2-Kind of along the same lines, a person who puts too much stock into what songs say will turn into a hopeless romantic and eventually become tragically disappointed at how little these stories, notions and words are mimicked in real life.

Not that I say this from experience, or anything.

This is why so many guys don't live up to girls' expectations. Think about it. Girls are smothered with Princess this and Princess that when they're just little tykes who don't know any better. These Princess stories are incredibly romantic, and now Disney has made them even less life-like by adding a musical element to them.

Today as I was taking SB to dance class, she insisted on listening to "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid about a million times in a row. I didn't complain one bit- I actually like that song. But for the first time I really really listened to the lyrics.

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don’t got a lot to say
But there’s something about her
And you don’t know why
But you’re dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

It's a sweet song. But it reminds me of another song, called Quiet Sensation. This song says:


She is a quiet sensation, not the kind you look at twice
The first time you see her, you don't even notice
The second time she looks kinda nice
Then you're hooked and you're booked, she's a quiet sensation
Oh she's a quiet sensation, yeah, she is.

She ain't a knockout, no drop-dead beauty
She ain't a fox, no, not a cutie
She's got a heart as big as the world
For some crazy reason she'll end up your girl
Bring her on, put her up, she's a quiet sensation
Oh she's a quiet sensation.

She don't have a wealthy daddy, she don't have a famous name, no no
She don't look like a movie star, she's got no attitude
But you can't forget the way she makes you feel.

Don't understand why you keep on looking
Ain't nothing you can put your finger on
It's not the way she's dressed, or the things she says
Not the way she walks or talks, she's a quiet sensation
Oh she's a quiet sensation.

Her legs ain't especially long, and she ain't no flashlight blonde, no no
She wouldn't stop a speeding train with her baby blues
But she sticks in your mind like gum on your shoe.

She don't look like nothing special, she don't wear no designer clothes
She takes your hand and your heart starts to hammer
She makes you feel like the king of the world
She blows all the others away, she's a quiet sensation
Oh she's a quiet sensation, she's a quiet sensation
My girl, a quiet sensation

Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic, but I have to wonder what young impressionable girl, upon hearing those words, doesn't want to be that girl? Maybe I'm unique here, but I desperately find myself secretly wishing that's how people talk about me behind my back.

But here's the kicker: even if I was that girl, no one talks like that. Songs and poems and stories, and even movies and TV shows are all idealistic representations of life. But we all grow up surrounded by these representations. We study Shakespeare and Wordsworth and Shelley in school. We watch TV shows and movies where the hero falls head over heels with a girl and verbalizes his emotions like no one in real life actually does. We hear songs where these romantic vulnerable feelings are adorned with sweet words and poetic descriptions, and we get confused.

We wonder why our husbands and boyfriends don't talk to us like that. We question whether they feel the same way towards us as Prince Eric feels towards Arielle. And we wonder if people describe us the same way we would describe Cinderella.

So we strive to be perfect in our lives. To be kind and gentle. To get along with people. We try to make the right decisions and have discipline and morals and brains. To be that girl and have others speak positively of you, no matter what.

And there are little snippets of moments where you actually feel that you succeeded. You have a ton of people call you on your birthday, or notice when you're feeling upset, or send you a random email thanking you for being a good friend, and you think to yourself, Wow, I made a difference in this person's life. They like me! They respect me! They care for me and think I'm something special...I'm that girl.

But then you hear something negative. Someone's scared of you. Someone doesn't get your sense of humor. You look in the mirror and wonder how you could compare yourself to a flawless princess. Someone says you have bad skin or ugly hair or chunky thighs or bad teeth. You speak out of turn and hurt someone's feelings. You weren't invited to someone's party or you find out that a co-worker just plain old doesn't like you. And that moment is shattered.

And all you have is that song. That isn't about you...and never will be.