Saturday, August 23, 2008

Bay Cafe...Round 2

OMG. They were there. You know who I mean. Them. The Crazy Dancers. Were at the Bay Cafe last night.

Despite all the drama surrounding their last appearance at The Band's gig at the Bay Cafe, the Crazy Dancers were there again last night. I'm not sure why. The good news, at least to me, is that the bass player, who had started all the drama by splashing the Crazy Man with water, went right up to the guy and admitted that he had no excuse for acting the way he did, and apologized. I was elated when he told me this- and a very proud band mama. The funny part was that the Crazy Lady was very obviously unhappy to be there. Like she was there out of obligation, not because she wanted to be. She had a pout on her face the entire time that the trombone player likened to the way my almost 3-year old daughter looks when she doesn't get her way.

They did dance. They did keep it tame. For them. There was still some bumping and grinding. The Crazy Lady wore white biker shorts with black tights underneath. Let's ignore for a moment why I would be looking, but I did not see panty lines, and I'll be honest, that scared me a little. He was wearing red jeans. They did stake their claim on certain seats by placing a bath towel down so no one could sit there (seriously, who does this at a bar?). There was one incident where she bent over with her ass in his crotch that no one needed to witness. But other than that, I think they kept pretty much to themselves.

I was with my friend/dance partner in crime Maggie and her friend Crystal. Maggie sluts me up whenever we go anywhere so my neckline was low and my hemline was high. As we were getting ready, meaning as Maggie was yelling at me to put on more mascara while pulling the top down on my dress to "show more boobs", I got a text message from my husband.

Come to side entrance....go to bouncer named Mike....big black guy....he knows you're coming....

Once I got past the unnecessary dot dot dots, and the ominous ending to the message, I found the description of Mike The Bouncer as a big black guy amusing. I don't really know why.

So we felt mega-important as Mike The Bouncer (who was probably the biggest blackest guy I had ever seen. And by big I don't mean fat.) smiled and let us in. We had to eat inside because the Bay Cafe takes complete advantage of its singularity as the only outdoor waterside bar in Canton and treats patrons like crap, but we ate quickly then mosied on outside to dance.

And dance we did. We met Dave who, although lacking in the fancy footwork department, was well-educated in the importance of a strong lead and the impressiveness of multiple spins. So basically he was really good at whipping us around and making us dizzy, and making it look like we all knew what we were doing.

I was already nervous because the dress I was wearing was shorter than I'm used to, and it was kind of windy right next to the water. So when Dave tugged on my hand and started spinning me around relentlessly, I caught Maggie's eye and silently begged her to make sure I wasn't giving onlookers more of a show than I thought. After the dance, she confirmed that I was unexposed the entire time. So after that bit of reassurance I just loose and had fun. There was one dip involved where I might have inadvertently shown my knickers, but I'm trying not to think about that.

After the gig, the following occurred as Maggie and I were walking around:

Bass player: Hey, The Man wanted me to tell you that he just left to go get the car.

Me: Thanks! I walk a little further, maybe 2 feet, and see the keyboard player motion for me to go to him. As I do, I pass the saxophone player.

Saxophone player: TB's getting the car. He wanted me to tell you.

Me: Thanks, Bass Player just told me. Continue walking to keyboard player, who is about 2 feet away.

Keyboard Player: TB said to tell you he's bringing the car up.

Me: Wow, thanks, you're only like the 17th person to tell me! Saxophone Player and Bass Player both heard this and we all had a good laugh.

I went back to Maggie, then a few minutes later approached Keyboard Player and Sax Player and said:

Hey, do any of you know where TB is?

I'm so cute it's sickening.

No comments: