Willpower

I used to work for a big old insurance company, where we worked in cubicles, constantly had phones attached to our shoulders and had chronically blurred vision from staring at the monitors in front of us for so long. This was one of my first jobs out of college, so it was before my fitness life yet after I'd already been working out a few years.

I made a few friends there, one in particular was actually one of my best friends for a while. I don't remember much about our friendship at work but I do remember there were a lot of emails sent back and forth that contained phrases such as "blah." and "I hate my job." We only sat a few feet away from each other but it was less distracting to our co-workers if we kept our misery, gossiping and joking to ourselves, so we bonded mostly over email during work hours.

Anyway, my point for going into all this is that I remember one day I ventured over to her desk and noticed a Snickers bar (full-sized, not one of those little bite-sized teasers) sitting in front of her, under her monitor. Right in front of her face. Still in its wrapper, untouched.

I didn't understand.

Why wasn't she eating it? I asked her this and her response was that she wasn't hungry.

I didn't understand.

What did hunger have to do with anything? This is chocolate. You don't have to be hungry to eat chocolate. I rarely am. You don't eat chocolate to satisfy hunger. You eat it because you have to because it tastes good.

This was too much for my feeble brain to handle so I left.

I returned the next day and found, to my shock and horror, that the bar was still sitting on her desk. Why? I asked if she was feeling ok. She was. I asked if her teeth were hurting her. They weren't. I also got a strange look along with her response.

Then why have you not eaten that stick of heaven that is sitting on your desk? If Snicker bars were intended to be used as cubicle decor, then they would have made them prettier. Or put funny sayings on the wrapper.

Despite my complete incomprehension, the bar stayed there a long time. At least a week, if not more. I think she ended up giving it to someone else.

Now if that Snickers bar had been mine, it would have been devoured within about 3 seconds flat. I have no self control when it comes to anything sweet or chocolatey. I have to buy single serving treats when I go to the grocery store or the entire box or bag would be inhaled. Most likely on the way home.

I'm the girl who ate the candy decorations from her wedding that my friends had put aside so I could keep as mementos. Candy mementos? Isn't that why we had photographers and videographers there?

I'm the girl who ate the entire top tier of the wedding cake by herself, which you're supposed to keep until your one-year anniversary, then share with your spouse, immediately after the wedding before leaving for her honeymoon.

I'm the girl whose mother used to have to hide candy around the house in places like inside the couch around Halloween so there would be some left for the Trick or Treaters. And this was even while I was in high school.

So the fact that she was able to sit there and stare at this chocolate bar for as long as she did without breaking down and eating it was beyond my comprehension.

Until now.

I'm so proud to be able to say that this has been sitting on my counter since Sunday.


This is not one of those little bite-sized teaser bags, either. This is a 13-oz bag of chocolatey goodness. I'm not sure how long this will last. But it's definitely a step in the right direction.