Bmore Mama, Bookworm

Over the course of this weekend I read many a book. I had a lot of down time on airplanes, waiting in airports, and waiting for The Man to wake up after his 5:30am ending to a night on the town. Just to prove to y'all (see, I totally fit in in NOLA!) that I can read, I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you about these books.

I had finished Barrell Fever by David Sedaris a few days before I left. This was an awesome read, although not my favorite of his books. It was extremely entertaining, but I prefer his autobiographical essays to his works of fiction. Not that his fiction is bad...I just like hearing about his life more, knowing these things really happened and seeing how he describes even the most mundane events in his life as if they were fascinating hysterical episodes.

I went to Target to get something deep and philosophical for my next read- because I'm a deep and philosophical person. The selection there was pretty lame and I couldn't really find anything that sparked my interest. I censor my own reads. I refuse to read any book (or watch any show or movie, for that matter) that deals with animals unless they are cartoon. Actually, I can't watch Bambi or Dumbo so I guess the whole animated thing doesn't really matter. Even if it's fiction, any time an animal is abused or betrayed or neglected or hurt, I retreat into very dark place and lapse into a deep depression. So Marley & Me was pretty much out.

I have seen the book The Kite Runner pretty much everywhere. For a long time now. But someone warned me a long time ago that it's kind of depressing. For those two reasons, I have been successfully avoiding the book. I've heard wonderful reviews about it. But I don't really like depressing. Call me crazy. But here was The Kite Runner, staring me in the face at Target, screaming I'M ALL YOU'VE GOT...BUY ME...BUY ME. So just to shut it up, I caved and purchased the book.

O.M.G. My mother was born in Iran and spent much of her youth before being shipped to a British boarding school traipsing around the area. I'm pretty sure she's been to all those Middle Eastern countries at some point in her life. So this book, which was about an Afghani boy, kind of hit home. Kind of.

The book was fantastic, but there were a lot of really disturbing parts. Without giving too much away, there was a lot of raping of the boys involved, and any type of raping (including the raping of certain Bmore Mamas of her time by certain US Airlines) is really upsetting to me. And many others, I would imagine. There was also a lot of death in the book (really, I'm not giving much away- this is recent to modern Afghanistan we're talking about here. Death is to be expected). The story line was addicting, and the main character's father reminded me eerily of my mother with his stubbornness and self-righteousness. But it was an interesting read and I finished the fairly lengthy novel in a matter of days.

The last book I read was a hasty purchase at WalMart in LA. Apparently, the Super WalMart is the place to be on a Saturday night in Louisiana. The place was packed. I only had a handful of things, so I took my place in the Speedy Checkout, intended for those who had 20 items or less. Luckily a guy with 2 bikes and a shopping cart full of soda let me go in front of him, but we were so far back in line that it was still a good 20-minute wait until my turn arrived. So 80% of my time in the store was spent in line. Fun stuff.

Anyway, this book, The Doctor's Wife, was about an affair between two married people, one of whom was the wife of a prominent doctor who was moonlighting as an OB in an abortion clinic. Coincidentally, the wife of the other cheating party was an activist who was part of a Pro Life group that rallied against abortion clinics and used violence as a means to drive their point home. I'm not sure why I chose this book; probably because of the way it looked compared to other books there. I totally judge books by their covers. And probably because it had the words "psychological thriller" on the front. I'm a marketer's dream, I know.

The interesting thing about this book is that the Pro Choice group was definitely depicted in a more favorable light than the Pro Life group. Honestly I'm not sure where I stand on this issue. I'd like to think that each person should be responsible for his or her own actions, but it doesn't necessarily work out that way. Just because a woman or girl gets pregnant doesn't mean he or she is going to suddenly grow up and become a responsible adult looking out for the well-being of the child. Some would argue that adoption is a more humane option than abortion, but I've heard so many stories of unfit parents doing horrible things to their children that it's clear that many people choose not to put the child up for adoption, regardless of their capabilities as a parent. So maybe abortion is actually better for the baby in some cases- I would imagine it's better than suffering later on. But does anyone really know for a fact that the baby would suffer? Who knows what the parent will do once the child is in his/her arms? Maybe they will undergo an epiphany upon seeing the miracle they produced and actually do a good job of parenting. Maybe not. Is it worth taking the chance? I don't know.

Then there's the whole category of rape. I have heard stories of women being raped, then finding out they are pregnant with the rapist's child, and keep the baby to raise him/her on her own. I don't know if I could handle that. I don't know if I could look into my child's eyes and see not my husband in there, but some random creep who forced me to have sex with him. I've never been in that situation, so maybe it's not that hard to love that child. I don't know. And I don't know how my husband would feel if I were raped, got pregnant, and decided to keep the child. He'd be raising a kid who wasn't even his own, but the child of someone who took advantage of his wife.

It's a touchy subject, and I can see why there is such division among people in regards to feelings on this matter. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

At the same time, the couple involved in the affair was also depicted as a likable pair. There was even one part in the book where a third party was counseling the woman who had cheated, saying that what she did wasn't wrong, she just needed something that her husband wasn't giving her, and she got it from somewhere else.

My husband told me a long time ago that if I cheated on him, he'd probably forgive me, since he loves me so much. I can't remember the context in which he was telling me that, but those words stuck. I didn't take that as a free pass to go off and cheat, mind you, but I thought it was interesting that he felt that way. More recently, he decided he wouldn't be so forgiving if I cheated, and said it would probably be over between us. I asked him about his change of heart, and I can't remember what he said, but it was something to the effect of that's what he thought at the time, but now he thinks otherwise.

I'm not sure that the whole get what you need from somewhere else excuse is a valid one worthy of forgiveness. Isn't that what you vow not to do when you get married? If TB decided that he needed something more than what I have to offer him, then he has no business staying with me. I understand that people change, and circumstances change, but honesty and communication is the foundation of a successful marriage (not that I'd know since mine is apparently falling apart, only saved by a trip to NOLA ;o)). But again, I've not been in that situation so I really don't know if I would feel the same way if it happened to me. On either end- whether I was the cheater or the betrayed. And I'm not sure I could overlook it if I were cheated on, no matter what the excuse.

So these books opened my eyes in a lot of ways, and made me a more enlightened person as I reflect upon the subjects about which I read. And now you are a more enlightened person for reading my reflections on these subjects. Now go off and write me a paper describing your reaction to these reflections.

Typed. And double-spaced.