I finished reading John Elder Robison's book, Look Me In the Eye a few weeks ago. It wasn't as easy a read as his brother's books, but it was pretty interesting and I was able to finish it, which says a lot.
As an adult, Robison was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, which is a condition on the autism spectrum that is characterized by "difficulties in social interaction and restricted, stereotyped patterns of behavior and interests," according to Wikipedia. In his book, he describes what his life was like growing up as an Aspergian, although he didn't know it until much later.
While reading this book, I found that I could totally relate. I'm not saying I have Asperger's Syndrome. My general lack of focus in anything would separate me from the almost savant-like Aspergians. I'm just saying there are small similarities. While I'm generally able to maintain eye contact, while making sure not to let it get to CREEPY level, my small talk skills leave much to be desired, and usually I don't attempt small talk at all because I suck at it so much.
But the funniest similarity I noticed between Robison and myself is the need to create names for people. He called his parents Slave and Stupid. I almost died when I read that, I only wish I had been clever enough to think of names like that for my parents (although I did call my mom Mamaduke in high school. She was not fond of that name). He calls his wife Unit Two. His son is Cubby. His brother started out as Snort, then grew into Varmint, and currently has no title other than Hey.
Genius. I, too, create names for people. Some aren't aware of this. Some, unfortunately for them, are. SB started out as a Peanut, but now she is Chicken. Chicken is a nickname. It is short for Chicken Little Peanut Pie.
Some of my creations you have already met- LPP and Bucky, I believe, have already made appearances here. Now here's what cracks me up. It's so much easier on the tongue to use LPP's real name (Pete) than to actually say LPP. One syllable versus three. Yet I still call him that. And his girlfriend is Mrs. LPP. His mom is Mama LPP, etc...
Many of the people who frequent my fitness center have earned themselves titles. G, Mortimer and BB all work in the next building over from mine. Blank Stare works entirely too close to me. Benny (if I'm in a good mood) works upstairs.
My husband plays in a band with the XBF (not really an ex, that's just what I call him), who has dated both The Ancient One and the Crack Whore (currently ex-)Girlfriend.
My husband is the luckiest of all, because his names are everchanging. He has been T-Butt (during my J-Lo phase), Toddles, Toddifer, Bu, and BB (short for Bu Bear). He puts up with a lot.
He would have been Toddsford, but that's the name I gave to a friend back in high school. And they certainly can't share it.
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OK, I have exciting news about Blank Stare.
Are you ready for this?
OK. I was actually nice to him today.
On purpose!
I know!
I talked with him, and everything! I totally acknowledged his existence, and I might have even asked him a polite question or two. I volunteered that TB (being an Eagles/Ravens fan) was very happy with this weekend's games. I told him that I had to leave early to bring SB to the pediatrician, then responded with more than one word about why.
Now don't go acting all crazy, thinking we're becoming friends, or that I'm starting to like him or anything. I can't guarantee I will continue to be nice to him.
But it's a start, right?
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