Still Got Nothing

There's not a whole heck of a lot of interesting stuff going on in my life right now. I guess I could talk about the same stuff everyone else is talking about- Obama. But I don't really have much to say. I'm glad he's our president, and I hope he does a good job. But I don't claim to be able to tell you whether he will or not. So let's just wait and hope.

I could talk about my tendency toward sneezing while I'm pregnant, which has resulted in half-chewed scrambled eggs being catapulted into my shirt at the crook of my elbow every single morning for the past week, because it comes on rather quickly. But I've been told that's gross and I shouldn't talk about it.

I just finished watching last night's episode of America's Best Dance Crew, and I have a confession to make. I teared up through the entire thing. I know I could totally chalk it up to pregnancy hormones that are (hopefully) raging through my body, but sadly, I did the same thing last year. I don't think I've ever cried at a movie. Maybe Dumbo. Hey- it's a depressing movie! That scene where his mother is locked away and she sticks her trunk out through the window and rocks him?? That's sad stuff! Kids shouldn't be watching that, they should be watching animals happily frolic about playfully without a care in the world.

But ABDC? I tear up almost immediately. I think it's partially respect for all these super-talented people giving it their all. Dance is not only an art, but it's also very athletic, so not only do these people have to possess rhythm and skill, they also have to be physically fit in order to perform the choreography. Which they do themselves, so they also have to be creative. It's amazing to me. I think part of it is also that I've participated in some sort of dance my entire life (tap and ballet when I was little, add in jazz when I was a teenager, then ballroom as an adult) and I kind of miss it. Actually I miss it a lot.

I keep telling myself that I'll find a place where I can take dance lessons but it never works out- either with the price or the location or the schedule. And now I know that even if I found the ideal class, I can't do anything about it until next fall. And that makes me a little sad.

About a year or so ago, I was really into krumping so I bought myself a how-to video. In case you weren't aware the stomp is the bread and butter of any krump routine. I practiced hard, and was on my way to mastering said stomp when I hit a plateau, which I determined to be caused by the lack of clodhop in my heaviest boots.

Incidentally, I also purchased 2 DVDs from the same company as my krump video, because they were on sale. And I later found out why. They were also how-to videos, but these taught you how to dance appropriately in a club. They were pretty funny, but they did start off with basic pelvic thrusts which, as we all know, is the bread and butter of any club dance.

Still in a Crappy Mood

I'm not sure how else to be as I sit here in my house in Baltimore in the middle of January during a cold spell. With no heat.

Yes, after a miserable weekend of TB being frightfully ill and plans falling through left and right while I tried to keep SB occupied and content enough on my own so that TB could wallow in his illness, a part to our heat pump died last night.

The house got down to somewhere in the 50's before TB came home from Home Depot with a couple of space heaters. We parked one in our room and one in SB's room, and we were comfortable for the night. But waking up this morning at 5am only to have to venture downstairs into the cold cold COLD frigid air to get dressed? Not fun at all. I debated taking a hot shower, but decided against it since I'd be comfortable while in the shower, but turn into a Popsicle as soon as I got out.

Anyway, all this stuff have kept me true to my 2009 form of being in a horrible mood. So my post today is going to be a list. Specifically, a list of the things that other drivers do that piss me off.

-Forget to signal. I don't get this. It's not difficult, all you have to do is smack a lever. You don't even need to take your hands off the wheel for this. I ALWAYS signal. Even if it's 3am and I'm the only person on the road for as far as I can see. If I'm changing lanes, exiting, turning, whatever, the signal goes on. And it's just as irritating when people turn on their signals halfway through their turn. At that point, why bother? I've already figured out what you're doing.

-Straddle 2 lanes. I get this a lot when I'm on my way home from work. It usually occurs after a turn, the driver can't really commit to a single lane, so they just straddle two, as if they're the only driver on the planet and no one has any desire to pass them, or even drive near them. Usually when they do this, they're also going really really slow, too. Which makes it only 15 times more annoying.

Not get into the left lane when someone's trying to merge into traffic...and they're the only car on the road. This happened to me this morning at a little before 6am. I'm a really good merger. I use the ramps to speed up, so by the time I'm ready to merge, I'm usually keeping up with traffic. I don't like to slow other people down. But when I have to brake or floor it in order to get onto the road because the ONLY CAR ON THE ROAD wouldn't get into the left lane and was interfering with my merge, that pisses me off.

Now, if there's a lot of traffic, then I don't expect people to let me in. Sure, it's the nice thing to do, but I totally get it if they don't want me in front of them. No big deal. But if there's no one else on the road....come on!!

When people slow down instead of speeding up on the ramps. I don't understand. If they're going to slow down, then how are they ever going to merge into traffic? I was taught to accelerate when you're on the on-ramp, and slow down when you're on the off-ramp. It makes sense. But some people come to a freaking complete stop on the Baltimore beltway so they can check for traffic. How do these people survive?


Ok last one- not because that's all I got, but because I have to go take SB to dance class.

When people slowly putter down the turn-only lane, only to decide at the last second they don't want to be in that lane after all, and then sit there with their turn signal on until someone in another lane lets them through. Nuff said.

Just In Case

You were wondering what that annoying blister sore thing on my frenum actually looked like, here's a picture of it.


Yes, it's still there, although it's a little smaller now. Not much smaller.

But I had a dentist appointment today, and let me tell you- it was NOT fun with this mother of a sore on the inside of my lip.

I warned him about it, and he was gentle at first. But then after the first 20 or so minutes, I think he forgot, and by the time he got around to running the deathbrush around my teeth, he stuck a gigantic rubber gloved thumb into my mouth, hooked it under my bottom lip, and pulled.

It was all I could do to refrain myself from jumping out of my seat and strangling him with the little chain thing that holds the paper towel across my chest like a bib. Because it certainly didn't help things that by that time my lip was dry and cracked, like the rest of my mouth.

I just can't seem to win these days!

New Blog!

Because I'm such an awesome blogger, and because I don't want to bore you all with my complaints and rants about the misery joy that is pregnancy on this blog, since it's really not what you signed up for (what DID you sign up for, exactly, by coming here?) I have created another blog dedicated to just that.

There's a link on the right of this page to my new pregnancy blog Second Time Around. The whole pregnancy thing is still a secret to the general public. I'm hoping to be official at around 3 months (beginning of February) if I can go that long without making it obvious by puking during a step class at work, or accidentally wearing clothes that are too form-fitting.

I actually have a third blog up as well, which is a health/wellness/fitness info blog, but that's still in the making. And it's on wordpress. And I might or might not have lost the password and url and login info to that one, so I might or might not be needing to start from scratch with it.

Bmore Mama, MS

Since 2009 seems to be the Year of the Complainer, at least on this blog, I will continue with my negative attitude and tell you one of my biggest pet peeves.

I study a lot at work. Well, not a lot. More like on and off. Last year I spent a lot of time studying for the ACSM Clinical Exercise Specialist certification, which was a big deal. More recently, I've been studying a course on how to develop more productive exercise prescriptions for personal trainers. I have no qualms at all about studying for these things during the down time at work because it's my job that requires me to have these certifications. And they only pay for half. So they owe me.

Anyway, people in the fitness center notice me studying, and inevitably ask me if I'm doing schoolwork.

I know that seems like an innocent enough question. But here's my beef with it. I put a lot of time and effort into school. I earned a B.A. then went back on my own accord and completely my M.S. I want credit for that!

If these people are asking me about schoolwork, then they obviously think I'm in the process of completing a degree. Which implies to me that they either think that I don't have one, or that all I have is a BA. Which means that they think that my knowledge in my field would correspond to someone without a degree. Which is insulting to me since I am proud of my education.

I could go crazy with it. At my last job, there was a girl who signed everything Andrea B...., MS. Even personal notes or when she signed off on deliveries. She always had that MS in there. I could be crazy like that, but I'm modest about my MS. The only time I use it is when whatever I'm signing requires me to have it. For example, when I worked in cardiac rehab, the exercise physiologists had to have Masters degrees, so all my paperwork on the floor was signed MS. But at my current job, I don't sign anything MS.

So I guess I can't blame these people entirely for asking if I'm in school when they see me studying, but it still gets to me. I certainly don't want to be seen in the same regard as Blank Stare, education-wise.

Weeding

Historically, I don't have very good luck with friends. I'm a nice person, and I'm completely loyal to my friends, once they make it into my Inner Circle of Friends. But I seem to be constantly disappointed. I'm not sure if I've written about this before, but it's what's on my mind right now so that's what you're getting.

On my 18th birthday, I had the perfect day planned. I was supposed to spend the day with my best friend, who was coming home from college just for that, then the evening (and who knows what else) was to be spent with my boyfriend at the time. My two favorite people. Long story short, my best friend decided not to come, using schoolwork as an excuse, and the boyfriend cancelled at the last minute so he could go skiing with his best friend. Which is where he met the girl he later kind of dumped me for (long story, different post).

I didn't write either of them off completely at that point, but was similarly disappointed by both of them repeatedly in the future, so I lost contact with them.

A few years ago, my best friend was a girl I met through work named Wendy. She had her degree in dance and was extremely frustrated because she was working a crappy job at a crappy insurance company. She complained constantly about how much she hated her job, and how she wanted out, and I felt her pain. I had the same job, and it wasn't what I wanted to do, either. But at the time, I was studying to become a personal trainer and looking into options for going back to school to get a degree in something more interesting to me.

In my spare time I would look for dance teacher jobs for her. I found a bunch, too, and passed them along to her. I even helped her put together her resume for her, despite the fact that her husband worked in graphic design. But there was something wrong with every job I came up with. She never applied for a single one, and didn't go so far as to even look into any of them. This frustrated me. But she was still my friend.

Then she got involved in Mary Kay. I tried to support her as best I could, but it got to the point where the only time she would call me was to pressure me into buying stuff or hosting another party for her. She was calling my FRIENDS to pressure them into buying stuff and hosting parties! I held on for as long as I could, but it soon became obvious that all she cared about was Mary Kay. It got very awkward, and we also lost touch eventually.

We still have a mutual friend, Dana, who kept me posted on Wendy's status after we lost touch. The last I heard, Wendy was going through all of her friends, and "weeding out" the ones with "negative energy". This was long after she and I lost touch, so I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with me.

But sometimes I wish I could do that. I have so many friends who are more of a burden to me than a positive influence. I often wonder how my life would be if I could just sweep them away? Or, even better, not get rid of them as friends, but just not be so affected by their "negative energy", as Wendy called it.

I would love to be able to brush stupid things off with nothing more than a shrug, but I'm just not wired to do it. I just can't. Or I don't know how. So I talk with a friend who puts me down, and I am affected by it. I reach out to another friend and it's not reciprocated, and I am affected by it. I'm let down by a friend who cancels repeatedly when we have dinner plans, and it sticks with me. I feel bad.

So why, when I'm trying so hard to be a good friend, am I the one suffering? Why am I the one who feels like crap when I honestly don't think I did anything to deserve being pushed away or treated like someone who's not important?

I don't understand this game. I have one or two friends who are awesome and always come through for me and make me feel loved as much as I love them. So I know it can happen. But they're not enough for me- I'm one of those people who need to be in constant contact with at least some human being. Not necessarily the same person 24/7- I'm not high-maintenance!

So I can't go through all my friends and just write off the ones who bring me down. I guess I have to learn to change my way of thinking and learn how to let things slide off my back while taking it all in but not being affected by it. Any ideas on how I can learn to do that??

And Here's 2009.

Isn't it weird how nothing can really be going on, but so much is happening? I don't have much interesting stuff to report. The holidays were lame. SB and I were sick for pretty much the entire duration. She started out with bronchitis, diagnosed at our 3rd doctor appointment over the course of a week on Christmas Eve. Then one week after she completed her round of antibiotics, we brought her to Patient First only to be told that she now has tonsillitis, and must start a whole new round of a different antibiotics.

My illnesses were never diagnosed officially, but the cough that started a few days before Christmas is still lingering and I went back and forth between days of feeling bad and days where I felt like HELL. For the 3 or 4 days surrounding Christmas, I ate nothing but cream of potato soup. 3 times a day- breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm not sure that really helped anything, but it was the only thing that was appetizing to me.

People have still been annoying the living crap out of me. I can't tell you how many people asked me what I did for New Year's Eve, just seconds after I informed them that the family was sick throughout the entire holiday break. As a matter of fact, I took my daughter out, thinking the cool air would do her 104 degree fever some good. My husband played with the Allmighty Senators, so I dragged my sick 3-year old down to the Inner Harbor to stay up all night with the masses and see them. I let her crowd surf and drink champagne at midnight, too. What- is that weird?

Why would people think that we suddenly got better just in time to ring in the new year? We went to bed around 9pm after taking our respective medicines (SB took her Motrin and I took my cough suppressant) and slept like matching mom and daughter logs until I was awakened at midnight by a plethora of "Happy New Year" texts buzzing from my cell phone.

So I'm still in a chronic bad mood. I think it's partially the cold weather and short days, partially the fact that I've cut my exercise back by more than half, and partially the fact that I come into contact with a lot of morons and annoying people over the course of an average day. Mostly the last one. Hopefully whatever this dark cloud hovering over my life is will soon pass and everything will go back to normal.