It's snot pretty.
Anyway, on a completely unrelated note, my appetite has been very unusual lately. I'd like to blame it on the pregnancy but sadly I don't really think I can because I'm not really craving anything per se. It's just my taste has changed. For example yesterday I had a bagel for breakfast, another for lunch and one for dinner. And they were onion bagels. I couldn't really smell anything because of the congestion, but I'm sure my breath smelled like a rose garden by the end of the day.
I've also been kind of obsessed with Giant's salad bar lately. I've never been much of a salad person, unless by salad you mean drenched in mayo, as in chicken salad, or potato salad. But in the past 2 or 3 weeks, I've attacked Giant's salad bar at least 6 times. I pile my foil bowl with romaine lettuce (only enough so that I can still call it a "salad"), shredded carrots, peas, chopped onions, baby corn, diced turkey, tomatoes, and croutons. Then I add 3 big beets to the side and plop a generous spoonful of potato salad on the top, squeeze the lid on, hoping nothing pours out the side of my overfilled container, and head home to enjoy.
Really? It's not too bad. The only really unhealthy thing is the potato salad, and it's only maybe a quarter of a cup at most so I don't feel too guilty about it. I add lowfat peppercorn ranch salad dressing to the bottom part (since the potato salad and beets take care of "dressing" the top part) once I get there, and I'm in heaven. The whole thing is inhaled in a matter of minutes.
I got my heavenly salad tonight (sans the onions- they were out) and settled down to eat it. SB was busy munching on her dinosaur chicken nuggets and fruit salad. I was eating really fast, but being congested, I wasn't easily able to breathe and eat at the same time. So I found myself quickly out of breath. But I didn't care. I finished off the potato salad and beets and all the affected parts of my salad. Then I poured some of my dressing on and took a huge bite.
A second later my entire mouth was on FIRE. I couldn't figure out what was going on- one minute I was eating my salad, then the next minute I was literally spitting out a mouthful of lettuce and baby corn because something was biting me or stabbing me in the mouth. WTF??
I ran to the kitchen and drank an entire bottle of water in almost one gulp. It would have been even worse, but for the first time in weeks, my sinuses felt almost completely clear...they had been burned out, I guess. My nose was running and my eyes were watering.
I wandered back to my salad to find the culprit, and realized that instead of my usual peppercorn ranch salad dressing, I had picked up (and drenched my salad in) JALAPENO RANCH dressing.
Why the HELL do we have jalapeno ranch dressing? No one in the family does jalapeno stuff. Then it hit me. My mom.
She and my brother are jalapeno/hot/spicy freaks. My brother eats wasabi straight off the plate with his fork. But he would never think to bring dressing to my house, so I ruled him out immediately. My mom, on the other hand, has a tendency to hoard salad dressings, keeping them until loooooong after they expire- until my brother or I raid my mom's fridge and throw all the dressings over 5 years past the expiration date away. She also has a habit of making salads on holidays, and bringing about 47 different dressings with them, then leaving them in my fridge.
For me to later almost kill myself eating by accident. Jalapeno is bad when you don't do spicy. But it's worse when you're not expecting it!!
SO here was my dilemma: awesome salad covered in death dressing. There was too much salad left to justify throwing it away. Plus I really wanted that salad. So I just poured myself a huge glass of water, covered the poison sauce with peppercorn ranch, and dug in.
By the end, my eyes and nose were running like faucets, and my mouth was completely on fire.
But it was totally worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment