Desperate Times

I'm at a loss. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. A new kid on the way (OMG), an already-there kid I'm trying not to screw up too too bad, an increasingly sick mother who is in denial of all things medical/involving the natural aging process in general, a super-needy dog and a chronically overworked, overstressed husband- and these are just the people in my life I'm supposed to be taking care of! There's some commotion at my job in response to yet another annual awards ceremony where we walked away with 2 nominations, 0 awards. We're frustrated that all of our ideas and attempts to branch out of "fitness" and enter into more of a "wellness" category are being trumped by the corporation whose fitness center we staff, yet the powers that be in the company we actually work for are losing interest and faith in us because we're not branching out. We're trying to move SOON so the house is in a constant state of disarray at the moment while we try to get rid of all the extra stuff we don't really need at all, pack away the stuff we won't need for a while, to put into storage, and make the things we need on a daily basis look pretty yet maintain the "uninhabited" look so when we're ready to start showing the house, people are more likely to picture themselves living here and want to buy. This is virtually impossible with a 3-year old, a dog who lives in a perpetual state of puppyhood, and a pregnant-lazy mom.

Despite all this stuff going on in my life, I'm bored. I know I say that a lot, but I just keep coming back to it. Mostly it's my career. It's just boring. And anything I think up to make it more interesting and along the type of stuff I'd like to do just ends up being rammed repeatedly against a wall.

Changing jobs at this point is not an option. Although it's illegal to discriminate, no company is going to want someone who will be going on maternity leave for 12 weeks in August. Not to mention that I wouldn't even qualify for FMLA, so I might not even get the full 12 weeks. Plus, in my line of work, physical ability is a big thing, and right now I don't even look the part, let alone claim to be able to teach a variety of classes or even just lead by example. Plus my hours are pretty sweet and still allow us to get by without having to rely on daycare.

But in order to keep myself motivated and happy, I feel I need to increase my knowledge base and further my education. I feel like my mind is literally melting away into pus at this job because I'm not using any of the clinical skills I learned over the years.

So I have whittled it down to a few options. Most of these involve waiting until I'm in better shape, physically. And the scariest thing is that they all involve investing a pretty decent amount of money. Which means I might have to hire a bodyguard when the time comes to reveal my plan to my husband, once it has been created. But this is just me thinking of what my options are.

-MPH- Masters in Public Health. I already have a MS in Exercise Science but that won't get me very far in anything except fitness and cardiac rehab. And while I adored cardiac rehab, it was more the health education aspect that I liked. Fitness is great, but I'm starting to think it's more of a hobby for me than a career choice. Johns Hopkins offers a MPH program that takes 3 years to complete (part-time) and is completely online. I have reviewed all the requirements for admission, and the only thing I would need to do is take the GREs (they weren't required for my 1st MS) which is optional, but they warned it may place me at a disadvantage if I choose not to take them. So once I get the MPH I have the option of continuing on to earn a PhD in Public Health. But that would be down the road. Like when I'm 35.

-Increase group exercise class instruction repertoire. I've been interested in teaching Pilates, yoga, and kickboxing, but these all require specialized training, which costs money. My wonderful professional development reimbursement policy at work allows for up to a whopping $250 per year. Hardly enough to cover a yoga training and certification class. In fact, probably nowhere near enough. I also can't really start these programs until this fall, at the earliest. And once I do, I'd like to moonlight as a group ex instructor at some commercial gyms- just going in once or twice per week to teach certain classes.

-Change careers completely. Sometimes I wonder why I chose fitness as a career, when it would have been perfectly fine as a hobby. I have a lot of interests and a lot of talents and abilities, but no formal education in anything that I would be interested in pursuing. So it would either involve more school, which I might as well just do the MPH thing, or getting a lame nondescript job that doesn't really provide any type of satisfaction. So I might as well just stay where I am.

-Take the knowledge I have now and design a website to prevent myself from becoming stale, and keep myself motivated. This doesn't have to involve a lot of money, but it would take a lot of time and creativity. I just have to get my mind into that place where I can dedicate myself to creating something like that. I actually did this a few months ago, I set up a health and fitness blog, but I lost the URL, password and username, and everything else I needed to access it. So I might just need to declutter my mind before I get to deep into it.

So these are the options that are flying through my head right now. Hopefully I can be in the planning stage now while I'm kind of incapacitated, and jump right into some kind of change once I'm back to my fighting....self.